You're welcome DC

I sit here looking outside at the sun shining, wondering when I can finally escape this office to enjoy the 80 degree day. All I can think about is the incredible luck that the DC area has had over the past year and a half, and have only one thing to say about it.

You're welcome DC, please send some thank you cards.

I agreed to move down to the DC area in Nov. of 2008 and since then the area has only flourished. I feel like I am Jacob to DC's island in this Lost comparison.

Sure you'll argue about the ridiculous amount of snow this past winter. But hey, I was just trying to toughen up the city like Pittsburgh. Plus, it was a rough time for me personally.

Just think of all the joy I've brought to the scene. A new President, who I've safely guarded, even if I don't agree with all his policies. I've gotten rid of a Supreme Court Justice, Arlen Spector, and hopefully soon enough a new DC Mayor.

On the sports front how much more can you ask for?? I've completely revamped the Redskins, since my hatred for the Eagles runs so deep. I decided to steal their Quarterback (McNabb) and replace Jim Zorn (thanks a lot Gigs for that one) with Mike Shanahan. I single-handedly delivered the Nationals the #1 pick in the Amateur draft and savior, Steven Strasburg (nice first name!), in addition to their first winning season so far.

I propelled the Caps to their first President's Trophy (by hook or crook), and watched with a bowl full of popcorn as the city's collective hearts were ripped out by the Montreal Canadiens. Don't worry I'll make sure they win the division again next year.

To top things off, after some careful negotiations I've been able to acquire the #1 pick for the Wizards. Now the Devil's terms were strict that the Wizards didn't waste it again, like they did in 2001. If they do, he promised 10 more losing seasons.

I'm really not sure what else I can do. It's been an exhausting past year and a half, and I plan to take the Summer off to enjoy shows from Jack Johnson and Ray Lamontagne. Now if I could only get the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Metallica here, it'd be a great year of music.

So the next time you see me, residents of DC, feel free to shake my hand and thank me for the incredible luck the city is experiencing. All I ask is for you to make sure your hands are clean.




(In case you take everything I say seriously, this is all a joke)