In the Air Tonight

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord"
 - Phil Collins, In the Air Tonight

Just like the song says, I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it's being pessimistic, maybe it's a premonition; either way it cannot turn out well. The Pittsburgh Pirates, the fairytale story of the 2012 MLB season, is about to not only turn into a pumpkin, but Gallagher is about to show up and smash this pumpkin. The Pirates will not make the playoffs this year. That statement should not shock anyone who has been paying attention to them this season. The real problem comes once you start understanding their history and how it has tormented fans for the past 20 years. Let's look at their record right now. The Pirates currently stand at 74-74 with 14 games left; by far their best record in September since 1992. They have lost 13 of their last 17, yet are still clinging on to hope of righting this ship.

Though out the year they have been able to break most losing streaks after 4-5 games. The most recent skid has been downright dreadful after losing 5 of 7 to the lowly Chicago Cubs. With their next two series against the Astros and Mets, there's still a glimmer of hope. I truly believe they'll turn it on against these two teams. With nothing to gain (or lose) the team will play more carefree and not carry the burden of the City's playoff expectations. Let's say they take 4 of 7 from these two franchises (stop laughing!), their record will stand at 78-78 (assuming they lose to the Brewers tonight), heading into the final two series.

Their last 6 games are against the Reds and Braves, who will be jockeying for playoff position. Normally you would think they'd lose all 6 against these superior teams. That's the mentality we've come to accept as Pirates fans. I'm not buying it for one minute. I truly believe they'll play the underdog role to a "T" and win at least 1 game against the Reds, who are bound for a letdown series after winning 7 of their last 10. At this point it's the beginning of October, the Pirates are looking at a record of 79-80 and holding on to that last glimmer of hope for the franchise.

The season and weather may change once we hit October, but my feelings towards the Atlanta Braves will never change. The same franchise who started this 20 year curse by not once, but twice ousting us in the playoffs, when the Pirates clearly had the superior team. By this point, Atlanta may be fighting for the Division Title and a bye through this crazy wild-card challenge. Cue up the Tomahawk Chop and I'm ready to rumble!! I can only see this ending one way. The Pirates take the first game of the series, sparking joyous celebrations in the City of Pittsburgh, now that the Pirates are back to .500!! The Braves quickly regroup and behind the pitching of former Pirates player, Paul Maholm, take game 2 of the series 5-2.

In game number 162, the Pirates are up 2-0 heading into the 9th inning with Joel Hanrahan on the mound. First up is Jason Heyward who ends up singling up the middle. Next up is Chipper Jones, in what will be his final at bat of his regular season career. In spectacular fashion, he doubles to right field wall, moving Heyward to third. Dan Uggla is up next, and pops up for the first out. David Ross, their catcher, is the next at-bat, and after battling back from an 0-2 count, he brings it to 3-2.  Ross flies out to deep center field, which brings Heyward home and Chipper to third base.

2-1 Pirates, down to the last out.  The DJ decides to play "Final Countdown" by Europe to pump up this raucous crowd.

The Pittsburgh home crowd is now besides themselves at the thought of a .500 franchise and breaking this curse. Lyle Overbay (Former Pirates player, which is key) comes to bat and within one pitch, quiets the crowd as the lines the ball towards the shortstop, only for it to be bobbled by Clint Barnes.

1st and 3rd with two outs. Jeff Baker, a relative unknown, is up next, as the Braves are out of pinch-hitters. Baker with a 2-2 count, hits a laser into left-center field, which quickly brings Chipper home. McCutchen has trouble handling it cleanly as Overbay is chugging around the bases. Barnes takes the relay from McCutchen as Overbay is rounding third. In a play that's eerily similar to 1992, the throw pulls Michael McKenry off the plate a few inches and is unable to tag Overbay in time and the Braves win 3-2.


(This image haunts me to this day, 20 years later)


Just like that, half the crowd passes out from the flashbacks of 1992, while the Braves celebrate. Once again they came through, punched us in the gut and stole our kid. The curse lives on for another 20 years and I hate these guys even more.  Burn Atlanta, burn.....

NHL 30 in 30: Carolina Hurricanes - Riders on the Storm

Hello Hurricanites! Welcome to the 2012-13 NHL season with your 2006 Stanley Cup Champion, Carolina Hurricanes! Our 2011-12 season was one marked by great improvement and hope. We started the season a bit slow, losing 23 of our first 32, which brought about the firing of our two-time Head Coach, Paul Maurice. You never know, maybe we'll give Paul a third stint in the next year or two (just kidding Kirk!). We brought aboard new coach, Kirk Muller, in December and since his hiring, the Hurricanes have gone 24-10. We hope to build upon this great start and the tremendous leadership of both Coach Muller and Director of Operations, Ronnie Francis. Ronnie started out with us as a Hartford Whaler, as thus is very familiar with the heartbreak and triumph this franchise has been through. The Youth Movement of your Hurricanes is in full swing, and the future looks bright! Our core players (Jeff Skinner, Eric Staal, Cam Ward, Jamie McBain, and Zach Boychuk) are all under the age of 28. Some of you may ask then, why two of our key defensemen (Joe Corvo and Jaroslav Spacek) are both over the age of 35. Well someone has to buy young Jeff Skinner some beer!! This is Joe's third stint with the Hurricanes, and we look forward to trading and re-acquiring him for a record fourth time. He's like that ex-girlfriend you just keep going back to. In addition to this core, it was a busy offseason for us. We brought aboard two superstars to bolster our scoring and depth at the forward position. We acquired Jordan Staal (Eric's younger brother) and Alexander Semin. Jordan is a terrific two-way player, and an annual Selke candidate. He will bring playoff experience and along with brother Eric and Jeff Skinner, provide excellent depth to the Center position. Alexander Semin, is a player many thought has no equal when it comes to offensive awareness. Alex has struggled the past two seasons, but has consistently scored 25 goals, and shows the potential to become a 30-35 goal scorer. If we can hold him to his weekly psychologist visits, we believe he holds the potential to be among the top goal-scorers in the NHL. With these changes in place, and a full season under the belt of Coach Muller, we will be competing for a playoff spot in no time. Remember, the past three times we've made it to the playoffs, we've advanced to the Conference Finals. The only problem is in between those Conference Finals, we've missed the playoffs 6 out of 10 times. Just like Brian Fantana once said, "60% of the time it works every time!" -Peter Karmanos

NHL 30 in 30: Calgary Flames - The Heat is On!

Good afternoon Flamers!! Welcome to the 2012-13 season. We're still a bit confused over the previous season. Your Flames were able to beat the Montreal Canadians in the Heritage Classic, and finish 2nd in the Northwest Division, but still didn't qualify for the playoffs. What's a brother gotta do for a bit of respect around here. Regardless of our finish, there were many positives we hope to build on from last year. Jarome Iginla (can you believe it's been over 15 years!!) scored his 500th goal. We will continue to hold Jarome hostage until he breaks every Flames record. Even if it means wasting his great talents and robbing him of a chance to play for the Stanley Cup. Miikka Kiprusoff recorded his 300th win, and notched another 30-win season. Even though we have not made the playoffs for the past three seasons, we have no reason to believe we should re-build or make any significant changes. We have consistently finished with more than 90 points in a season for the past 8 seasons, and believe the rest of the teams in the Western Conference are bound for a down year. Remember the last time we went through such a playoff drought (7 seasons in a row, 96-03), we made the Stanley Cup Finals the following year! Just think, in 4 years we'll be back in the finals and the US will be electing another President. We've made a few additions to the roster in bringing back fan favorite Mike Cammalleri, who for some reason my wife recommended we acquire. I think it's because of his charity work and has nothing to do with my aging looks. In addition to Mike, we acquired Denis Wideman and Jiri Hudler, who bring an abundance of playoff experience, which we hope to utilize in another 4 years. I will make this guarantee to you the fans. No matter how much it may hurt the league, I promise to never trade Mr. Iginla and will not give in to any demands, like the Bruins did with Ray Bourque. Jarome will be our captain, savior, and leader until he retires or frees himself from the basement. In the words of Johnny Blaze of the Fantastic 4, FLAME ON!! - N. Murray Edwards

NHL 30 IN 30: BOSTON BRUINS - Does a Bear Sh*t in the Woods?

Killer B fans!!: I'd like to personally welcome you to the 2012-13 season for your Boston Bruins! The Bruins organization has had a pretty quiet offseason, after being knocked out in the first round by the Washington Capitals. Some would call this being complacent, but I say, how can you argue with success? We've kept the same team in tact for the past two years, which has led to 2 Division Titles and one Stanley Cup victory!! (remember that??). 2012 will bring about the return of a few familiar faces who have been out with injuries for several months. Nathan Horton, Adam McQuaid, and possibly Marc Savard, will all be returning to the Bruins line-up. In addition to their returns, we've added "Teach Me How to" Dougie Hamilton to our already elite defensive corp. Dougie (fun name to say right?) is 6 foot 5 inches tall, and will be paired with Captain "Big Z" Zdeno Chara, to form the most physically imposing defensive pair ever. In addition these two will be accepting bookings by the WWF (tag-team name: H.a.m.Z.) and if you need those hard to reach ceilings cleaned. Sophomore phenom Tyler Seguin is ready for a break-out year, as he will be named to the starting center position. Tyler has displayed tremendous growth in his game, and quieted most complaints regarding the trade of Phil Kessel. We are pleased to announce that we have signed Coach Claude Julien to a multi-year contract to provide the stability we need behind the bench. Cam Neely will remain in his current position as Team President, basically because he scares the living bejeezus out of myself and other teams. In addition we'd like to congratulate long-time Bruin, Adam Oates on his new head coaching position with the aforementioned Washington Capitals and induction into the hockey Hall of Fame. If we happen to meet the Capitals again in the playoffs, we'll be sure to send Cam down to have a word with you before the game. Finally, I'd like to address the rumors concerning Tim Thomas. As you all may be aware, Timmy has decided to sit out the upcoming 2012-13 season, to spend more time with his family and take some much needed mental health days. It was incorrectly reported that President Obama exported Mr. Thomas to jungles of Congo, though ironically we have been unable to reach Timmy since his announcement. Many of you have expressed concerns over not only his comments to the President of the United States, but his sanity as well. The Bruins organization has taken note of the fact he has become increasingly insane, in correlation with the growth of his beard. Before he returns, we simply ask Timmy to shave that beard and see a councilor about talking to the goal posts. Again we'd like to welcome you, the fans, to the 2012-13 season. Be sure to attend our Fan Fest on October 1st, and renew your seats for the 2013-14 season. Please do not make us send Brad Marchand to your homes to annoy the heck out of you until you give him. Of course we're only kidding (not really, we can't stand to have him around the rink anymore). Sincerely, - Team Owner Jeremy Jacobs.

NHL 30 IN 30: ANAHEIM DUCKS - The Flying V

Hello Mighty Ducklings, I'd like to personally welcome you to the upcoming 2012-13 NHL season with your 2007 Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks!! The season hasn't begun yet, but we've already started off with a win in the courtroom, as GM Bob Murray was acquited on any charges of abusing that Red Wings employee. We won't let those Wings beat us two times in a row, and that's a promise!! Do not believe any of the trade rumors, as it is my intention to keep this team together, and keep both Captain Ryan Getzlaf and Bobby Ryan in town for years to come. We feel as long as Teemu Selanne is on our team, we have a fighting chance every season. The "Finnish Flash" is a cyborg who keeps playing at a high level past the age of 40, and no doubt has multiple children who are older than half our team. The Ducks organization looks forward to celebrating Teemu's 700th goal this season (only 37 more!!). We also look forward to the return of Saku Koivu. Saku is somewhere between London and Finland, as he was last seen running with the Olympic Torch. In addition, All-Star Lubomir Visnovsky, may be returning to our team, as he and his lawyer are arguing that trading him to the Islanders was illegal, due to his no-trade clause. Honestly, if I had to leave sunny California for the Jersey Shore beaches, I'd be suing Santa Claus to get back! After the slow start last season, which was due to the jet lag, we woke up just in time for the ball to drop for NYE and won 24 of our final 40 games. We also made changes at the coaching position, and brought in former Capitals boss, Bruce Boudreau. Bruce is a great fit not only for coaching our high scoring team, but also in California, as he can eat his precious ice cream year round, and not worry about a bit of snow getting in the way. We're currently in talks with the NHL Network, to get Coach Boudreau his own talk show, as we believe his colorful language would be perfect for the 6-12 years old audience who visit the nearby Disney Theme Parks. Please join the entire Ducks Staff and Wild Wing this season as we will be retiring Paul Kariya's number and raising it up to the rafters. 2012-13 will no doubt be full of changes and 31 flavors, and the GPS line will power us back into the Playoffs. In the words of our most famous coach, Gordon Bombay, "QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!" - Henry and Susan Samueli

NHL 30 IN 30: MINNESOTA WILD - One Wild Night

Dear Wild Fanatics, 2011-2012 was one helluva "Wild" ride wasn't it? Get it, see how I used Wild in that sentence....is this thing on? After a strong start to the season, winning 20 of our first 30 games, we decided to take some time off for Christmas break, and never really came back, dropping 37 of our next 52. It must have been those red and green jerseys.... Look at the bright side, we still finished with a better record over 6 other teams. This means we were in the top 80% record-wise, we equates to B on the grading scale!! Our leading scorer was Dany Heatley, who we deftly acquired for Martin Havlat. Don't pay attention to the fact that he had it lowest output for his career, and his skillset has slowly diminished over the past 4 seasons. With a healthy Saku Koivu by his side, he'll return to his 40-goal self in no time. What's that you say, our Captain is Mikko Koivu? Well I'm sure he'll be a great new addition to our team. After speaking recently at a Conference attended by the Steinbrenners and Dan Snyder, they let me in on a secret of theirs. They all agreed, the only way to win a championship, is to spend lots of cash. I threw every last dime I had out the window this offseason to appease you, the fanatics. We, the team of the Twin Cities, signed Ryan Suter and Zach Parise to "twin" contracts at $98 million over 13-years. See what I did again with that play on words!! In addition, I signed a 4th line center, Torrey Mitchell for $1.9 million. With these signings along with 4 of our top players (Nicklas Backstrom, Heatley, Matt Cullen, and Devin Setoguchi) returning from the surgical table, we should be back up to 3rd place in no time. Of course I meant 3rd place in the Division, because there's no better way to antagonize the United States most dedicated hockey fan base, than to constantly put out an underachieving line-up. Thanks again for your continued support of the North Stars.....err Wild!! - Minnesota Sports & Entertainment

End of an Era

By now, you all have heard the news. Joe Paterno has been fired as the Head Coach of Penn State football. I hope you've also heard about the real crime in this case was committed by Jerry Sandusky, who according to Grand Jury reports, sexually abused 8-10 minors within a 10-year span.

When I first heard the news, I thought we were dealing with 17 or 18 year old boys/men. However, once it was discovered we were talking about 10-12 year olds, who already had to deal with broken homes or mental health issues, it made the issue much more disturbing. Sandusky will get his day in court, and if/when he's proven guilty, he will suffer in jail, not only in time, but in physical pain.

I will leave the actual news media to cover Sanduskys devious deeds in detail, whereas I'd rather focus on a man, most are forgetting. Mike McQueary.

Mike, a former Penn State QB from 1997-1998, and highly regarded leader of the team, was the whistleblower in this case. According to Grand Jury reports, while in the locker room, he heard rhythmic slapping noises coming from the men's shower stall. Once he was close enough to the showers, he discovered a boy, who appeared to be no older than 10 years old, getting sexually assaulted by Jerry Sandusky. Here's where the story takes the inevitable turn. Instead of attempting to stop this horrific crime, McQueary turns and leaves the facility to call his father.

Now, this would be an acceptable excuse if you too were a teenager. However, when you're 28 years old, and large enough to play Quarterback for PSU, don't you HAVE to step up and do something? You were known as a leader of men a few years prior to that. Now, when faced with a real scenario, you turn and run. On top of that, his father advises him to wait till the NEXT DAY! to contact Joe Paterno.

For every man reading this blog, I'd hope if faced with the same scenario, you'd do one of two things.

#1 - Go into that shower, knock down the 60 year old Sandusky, and save that boy from any further punishment.

#2 - Call the Police ASAP, and have them end all of this immediately.

Those are the ONLY options, and yet McQueary managed to slither his way out of it, through a 3rd choice.

As far as I'm concerned, he is gutless, and hopefully will never receive an opportunity to coach or teach anywhere else for the rest of his life. How can you possibly advise others as to what right choices they should make, when you completely missed on a situation that will haunt at least one child for the rest of their life.

I've both heard stories and been a part of one, where men react to lesser crimes. I still remember Freshman year in college, while with a friend at the time, stopping some A**hole from slapping around his girlfriend. Mind you this was two teenagers/adults, and merely a physical altercation. I can't even fathom what would go through one's mind if faced with McQueary's dilemma.

We shouldn't be looking at Joe Paterno as the victim or the criminal. The victims were the 8-10 boys abused by Sandusky.

The blame should first fall on McQueary, then Athletic Director Tim Curley (who failed to report it to Police), followed by President Graham Spanier (for completely ignoring all of this), and if you're chopping down the whole department then Joe Paterno goes as well.

Paterno should not be the focus of this case, he's done so much more for thousands, even perhaps MILLIONS of students, that he truly deserves better than this. Judge the man by his history and his character. I 100% believe that if Joe Paterno knew the actual extent of the crime and not vague details, he would have done more. Joe always had the best interest of the University and students in the forefront of his mind. No one can ever argue that. Finally, before all the naysayers go condemning him, look at what he's done and how selflessly he's lived his life before you judge him.