We can't have nice things

As many of you know, I try to stay pretty active, especially this past summer. I currently play dek-hockey, softball, and flag football to round out the week.

What can I say, if it's competitive, sign me up!

However, I usually run into one slight problem. Most of these co-ed or corporate leagues are not as competitive as I'd like. I'm not trying to prove anything here, it's simply a fact. Whether it be a debate, a sprint to the end of the parking lot, or a game of football, I WANT TO WIN. But you already know this.

That's why I think I'd make a great rapper or at least lyricist. I'm sure I could write 52 bars that just rip someone to shreds.

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen anytime in the near future. Yet, I still apply the same attack when smack talking.

Here's an example. Last night we were in the midst of a close football game. It was the 2nd half, and my team was clinging on to a 7 point lead. Their QB ends up sprinting up the sideline trying to gain a first down. I KNOW I forced him out prior to the marker. The Referee unfortunately marks it as a first down, and I calmly jaw back you can see his footprints out of bounds prior to the first down.

Suddenly, I hear a voice screaming back my way. "THOSE WERE ALREADY THERE, QUIT COMPLAINING JUST B/C YOU DIDN'T CATCH HIM". Just when I start to turn around it continues, "I WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE AND SAW IT, YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR EYES".

When I finally turn around to see who is yapping all this trash, it's a female player on the opposing team.

Here's where the conflict began. You see, I was brought up to be a gentleman, and with it, respecting the opposite sex.

BUT, in my mind, once you step on a field of play, all that goes out the window. I had to fight back the urge to say, "HEY, WHY DONCHA SHUT UR MOUTH AND GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH IN THE KITCHEN WHERE YOU BELONG".

Luckily, the thought ran through my mind quicker than it got to my lips, and once it did, I just kept laughing at how outrageous the situation could have become.

Yeah, maybe it would have been fun to escalate things, but seeing as there were 3 females on my team, who we needed, it was better to pass this battle up.

Next time I'll just stop and think WWED or What would Eminem do.