I am whatever you say I am

"Can anybody hear me?
I guess I keep talkin to myself
It feels like I'm going insane
Am I the one who's crazy?"

- Eminem "Talkin 2 myself"


While I was relaxing outside on Saturday listening to my MP3 player, this recently added song came through my rotation. It was so good I had to listen to it twice, because the lyrics just hit so close to home. Eminem's whole recent CD (Recovery) has that affect.

I'm sure most of you have heard both "Love the way you lie" and "Not Afraid". Respectively, both are great songs but the lesser known ones stand out more.

Shortly after this song came through, "Way I am" was next. The lyrics are gritty and angry, but also very real. These two songs are what got me thinking...

Why?

Why do I have such a sarcastic sense of humor? Sure, sometimes it can be hilarious, ala the way Seinfeld or Lewis Black is, but other times not so much.

Why do I say things to friends none the less, that can be construed as rude or profane.

Why does it appear I'm always angry. I can't tell you the amount of times I've heard from people saying they passed me in the street or at the gym and I just looked p'd off.

The answer? I guess that's just the way that I am.

I'm 100% sure if you're reading this you're either a family member or friend. I'm sure we've interacted at several points in life.

I'm here to say I'm sorry. I don't want to come off as someone who is rude, non-caring, or a sarcastic asshole. That's not my goal in life. My goal is to entertain and have a great time. To be honest I think that's why "acquaintances" may be apprehensive about ever hanging out.

My bad man.

It's just a bit of a self-realization I've gone through. I just wanna say thanks to all of you out there who are friends and that I value those friendships.

So don't be afraid, because I can't be that bad of a guy, or else why would you be reading this?