Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Brett Favre is your boyfriend??

After a recent conversation with Aaron regarding him being labeled "Mark Sanchez" at work (based on his resemblance), I wondered aloud to him about if you could nickname your friends/wingmen based on the current NFL QBs. I present to you the official guide. Feel free to name names in the comments section!!

Matt Leinart - You keep giving him every chance in the world, but he constantly lets you down. Failing to really add any value to your friendship. At this point he's only a friend via Facebook and you're even contemplating deleting him.

Matt Cassel - You had one epic adventure with them, when one of your other friends let you down. You continually hold this person in high regard due to that one great time.

Mark Sanchez - You put a lot of faith in this person, despite not knowing them too long. Great wingman based on his looks, but not sure if his personality can get the job done.

Matthew Stafford/Sam Bradford - New to your group of friends. Completely unproven, but you're looking forward to hanging out for the first time.

Jason Campbell - People seem to forget he's around, poor guy never has any good luck. You feel bad for him, but don't really go out of your way to hang out either.

Tim Tebow - Friend who's either really religious or very political. You don't want to get into conversations with this guy about either. Sometimes wonder if he thinks he's "holier than thou".

Jay Cutler - He's your A**hole friend. Sometimes you question why you have him around. Very over the top personality, but hey sometimes chicks dig that, and everytime it happens, you're amazed by this.

Kyle Orton - Solid friend. Always there for you in a bind. Isn't the most athletic, charming, or funny, but gets the job done when called upon. Never have a bad time or an amazing time hanging out together.

Vince Young - Token friend who gets a little too rowdy at times.

Carson Palmer - Great friend who's been with you for awhile. Although after his last break-up, he hasn't been the same. You keep introducing him to more people, hoping he gets his swagger back.

Brett Favre - Another old friend who's been through just about everything. The elder of the group. However, recently he's been very unreliable in terms of committing to hang out. When he does and he's not hungover, he tends to steal the show.

Big Ben - Friend who has been making poor decisions recently (hooking up with bombs, getting into drugs, investing in Ponzi scheme, etc). However, somehow he still holds his job at a prestigious Law Firm. You're beginning to wonder if he has a split-personality.

Eli Manning - He's that friend who somehow pulled in the perfect g/f. He has average looks and intelligence, but also has very few character flaws.

Phillip Rivers - He's much like Cutler in that he's an a**-hole, but the guy is hilarious and constantly hooks up with attractive females. Zero to negative 100% of him ever getting married.

Aaron Rodgers - Always had to live in his older brother's shadow. Finally, once the brother moved away, he's had time to shine in your group. You wonder why you guys' haven't hung out more.

Donovan McNabb - He's new to your group and a bit older. Real humble friend, whose friendship is underrated and under appreciated. However, there is that story you've heard about him puking on this model he was hooking up with. Seems to choke in the big moments with women.

Tony Romo - You laugh because every attractive female falls for his lines and southern charm. However, you'd never trust him around your sister.

Tom Brady - The "pretty boy" of your group. Pretty much has everything; the job, the hot g/f, the nice car. For whatever reason you don't hate him for it, because he's earned it all.

Peyton Manning - The jokester of the group. Some people find him awkward, while others think he's hilarious. Ridiculously intelligent and handy. Poor guy wasn't blessed in the looks department, but makes up for it every which way.

Drew Brees - Most underrated of the group. He's the friend who worked himself into ridiculous shape. He's also the one who is the most adventurous and willing to take risks. Not as smart as Peyton, but can go get hammered one minute and hold an intelligent conversation the next.

5 comments:

  1. Haha... this list cracked me up!

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  2. Senecca Wallace - The friend you don't know much about. In fact, none of your other friends know much about him either. Who exactly is he you wonder from time to time? He's like the guy that shows up at your parties and you talk, but then you don't see him until your next big party.

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  3. Kevin Kolb - Token friend from overseas. You are not quite sure how to pronounce his name, but you don't mind saying it wrong.

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  4. Trent Edwards - Your friend who is always complaining about his job and its location. You keep asking him to find a new job, but none of the other companies want him. He is useless. The only company that wants him is who he is currently employed with.

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  5. Dude, fun list! Its really solid, cause when I first started reading I would say I'd best match up with a Peyton Manning...and it was damn close.

    Let's see, I'll try one.

    Derek Anderson - That guy you know that had a few small legendary moments and you thought you should be friends with him. You then realize he was legendary cause all his friends are just lamer than he is.

    ReplyDelete