NHL 30 IN 30: ANAHEIM DUCKS - The Flying V

Hello Mighty Ducklings, I'd like to personally welcome you to the upcoming 2012-13 NHL season with your 2007 Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks!! The season hasn't begun yet, but we've already started off with a win in the courtroom, as GM Bob Murray was acquited on any charges of abusing that Red Wings employee. We won't let those Wings beat us two times in a row, and that's a promise!! Do not believe any of the trade rumors, as it is my intention to keep this team together, and keep both Captain Ryan Getzlaf and Bobby Ryan in town for years to come. We feel as long as Teemu Selanne is on our team, we have a fighting chance every season. The "Finnish Flash" is a cyborg who keeps playing at a high level past the age of 40, and no doubt has multiple children who are older than half our team. The Ducks organization looks forward to celebrating Teemu's 700th goal this season (only 37 more!!). We also look forward to the return of Saku Koivu. Saku is somewhere between London and Finland, as he was last seen running with the Olympic Torch. In addition, All-Star Lubomir Visnovsky, may be returning to our team, as he and his lawyer are arguing that trading him to the Islanders was illegal, due to his no-trade clause. Honestly, if I had to leave sunny California for the Jersey Shore beaches, I'd be suing Santa Claus to get back! After the slow start last season, which was due to the jet lag, we woke up just in time for the ball to drop for NYE and won 24 of our final 40 games. We also made changes at the coaching position, and brought in former Capitals boss, Bruce Boudreau. Bruce is a great fit not only for coaching our high scoring team, but also in California, as he can eat his precious ice cream year round, and not worry about a bit of snow getting in the way. We're currently in talks with the NHL Network, to get Coach Boudreau his own talk show, as we believe his colorful language would be perfect for the 6-12 years old audience who visit the nearby Disney Theme Parks. Please join the entire Ducks Staff and Wild Wing this season as we will be retiring Paul Kariya's number and raising it up to the rafters. 2012-13 will no doubt be full of changes and 31 flavors, and the GPS line will power us back into the Playoffs. In the words of our most famous coach, Gordon Bombay, "QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!" - Henry and Susan Samueli