This is getting ridiculous!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/24/mcdonalds-lawsuit-group-w_n_623908.html


STOP!, ENOUGH!, I TAP OUT!

I cannot fathom the absurdity of this lawsuit. People these days are so inclined to sue everyone and anyone in their sights. The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) is contending McDonald's is unfairly marketing towards children. Their lawsuit states that McDonald's uses their Happy Meal toys to "lure" children into eating the fatty foods.

If you know me, you know I am a huge supporter of the Non-profit industry. However, this group (CSPI) is way off the mark.

There are two HUGE gaps in this argument. One, McDonald's actually does have "healthy" items. Sure it doesn't stack up against your bland salad and tuna lunch, but compared to what's served at schools these days, McDonald's is a much more attractive option. It's not our fault that instead of getting your kid the usual Happy Meal, you go and feed him/her the 20 piece McNugget with a large Coke. Meanwhile, you shove your face full of two triple cheeseburgers and a milkshake. I've seen it too many times, that the parents themselves are giant wastes of life, and so they feed their child whatever they want. Start taking some responsibility!

Just last week I saw a Mother and her child feeding upon a tray full of fries and each had milkshakes. Now, God only knows if this was their main course or their only meal of the day. Either way, it spells obesity.

Secondly, the last time I checked, the whole point of Marketing, was to gain popularity within a certain demographic. McDonald's, Wendy's, Long John Silvers, etc all give away toys. It's away to attract attention to their business and away from the competitors. It's been a tried and true practice for over 30 years. Cereals have been doing this since the end of the Vietnam War.

As far as I know the toys do not contain nicotine or any other addictive drug, that makes kids yearn for their fix off of the McDonald's crack pipe.

If anything, McDonald's deceptively advertises to their adult consumers. Their "Chicken Select" meals are not that healthy, but advertise it as a smart choice.

Some of McDonald's' foods are a clear example of everything that's wrong with America. Do we really need a Big Mac, Triple Cheeseburger, and Half-pound Angus burger on the same menu??

Sure, their sign outside of the restaurant snidely advertises over 99 BILLION served. As Seinfeld once said, "we get it, you've served a lot of people, we know you're successful". However, this is one time I'm siding with the Golden Arches and their creepy cast of characters (no I'm not talking about the workers).

You (CSPI) are wrong in this case and as punishment you must consume a Big Mac meal and it better be super sized!

BA-DAH-DA-DA-DAH I'M LOVIN' IT

Sports and shorts

Monday officially started the "break your neck" season. I refer to it by this name because too many times guys will snap their neck by turning to catch a glace at the woman in the short skirt, running clothes, etc. Women are finally free from the winter/spring confines and figure, hey now is a great time to show what I've been hiding under that ridiculous sweater all winter.

Just be careful when you're driving out there. At least twice yesterday in Rock Creek park I nearly took out other cars ala NASCAR b/c of what some runners were wearing. Ahhhh DAMN!

Since my last ex, I've been searching for a "healthy" cookie to replace the oatmeal/flax seed/brown sugar ones I've had stored away. I think I may have found a good replacement.

Another friend (who btw refuses to publicly acknowledge reading this blog! haha), dropped off a great replacement. This is made with oatmeal/flax seed/apple sauce/chocolate chips. Hopefully these will curb my addiction to ice cream/frozen yogurt. FrozenYO got me again last night for another 1/2 pound of french vanilla. Those bastards!

In Hockey, two females were elected to the Hall of Fame yesterday. Cammi Granato and Angela James received the phone call late Monday, giving them permission to enter the hallowed gates in Toronto.

I'm torn on this subject. On one hand it's great they recognize Granato for basically breaking down the women's barrier in professional/international hockey competition. James was supposedly the greatest player so far, and has no relation to LeBron. The other half of me thinks, SO WHAT? Has anyone ever seen a professional women's hockey game, besides in the Olympics?

Their contribution is undoubtedly great, but we're not talking about Jackie Robinson here. There was only a barrier b/c there was no interest in it, and still appears that way. It has less of a following than the WNBA, and that's sad. Is Pro Football suddenly going to enshrine women in theirs b/c I know for a fact there are professional leagues for only women.

Listen, I'm not trying to be sexist here. What they've done is great and truly was ground-breaking. You have to question the validity though, if they are only being enshrined "just because" and to start up a new wing in the Hall.

If this is true, I'm pushing for Manon Rheaume (first female goalie).

http://www.keepsakevideo.biz/images/ManonRheaumeICEHawks.jpg

I'll pass on making comments about scoring, going top shelf, and the five-hole haha.

We didn't start the fire

Here's a firestorm of thoughts to get you over the hump for the week.

-On Monday I was coming back from the gym, and ran into a girl on the elevator, who I can only describe as an ideal woman for Aaron. Tall, blonde, and wheeling up a case of wine bottles. Not realizing that everyone doesn't get my sarcastic side, I spit out this little gem, "Like to drink much?". This was met by 5 seconds of silence, before she realized I was joking. At this point she busts out laughing, and before she can respond, I'm at my floor.

Was that a win or should I chalk that up in the loss column?

-The other thing many of you observe about me, is I'm constantly talking or looking at jobs. For whatever reason, something about interviewing at a new employer is exciting. Recently, I've started to look back into public accounting. Apparently I haven't learned my lesson yet, since my last two jobs in public accounting, lasted a combined 2 years. Accounting as a whole is like the two polar ends of women you end up with. On one end you have the Corporate side, which is your safe bet. Pretty much always guaranteed to have a job, the pay is decent, benefits are good, etc. This is akin to the woman you settle down with. Early in your career, you're not ready for it, and may even look at it as boring and monotonous. Public Accounting, is like that crazy girl you saw for months. It's a helluva ride and you don't know if you'll make it out alive. Some people last in that industry for weeks, some months, and others somehow transform it into a career. This can only be directly related to marrying the stripper girlfriend. You may think it's a great idea, but others are shaking their head wondering why you keep putting up with it.

-Yes I just somehow connected accounting to strippers....

-The song "We didn't start the fire" by Billy Joel has been playing over and over in my head today. When you Wiki the events that Joel somehow rhymed together, it's amazing (Wheel of fortune-Sally Ride, Heavy Metal Suicide, foreign debts-homeless vets, AIDS,crack, Bernhard Goetz????). Who cares that the song was voted as the #41 worst song ever.

-FrozenYO opened up in Columbia Heights a month or so ago. The concept here is to self-serve frozen yogurt. It's both genius and horrific. Genius because they realize Americans cannot control themselves when it comes to ice cream, and even fewer know how to approximate the weight of an item. Their toppings vary from fruit to Fruit Loops cereal. It's horrific b/c I fit both categories and consumed .81 POUNDS of frozen yogurt and toppings in one visit. Get this place outta here!

-Another sign I'm extremely bored at work, I wiki'd the year 1982 to see who else was born in the same year as me. If you ever want a wake up call to compare what you've accomplished to others. Within the same month I was born here's a small list of the celebs:

*Ben Roethlisberger (shoot me)
*Jessica Biel (Call me!)
*Landon Donovan (GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALL today!)
*Kat Von D, (Would def get ink done by her)
*Danica Patrick (Please stop the Go Daddy commercials)
*Chyler Leigh (paging Dr. Lexie Grey)
*Seth Rogen (Has anyone had a better 3 year span of movies?)
*Kaka (the soccer player not the turd itself)


Those are some pretty successful people. Would you ever guess any of them were the same age as yours truly? With the exception of Chyler Leigh, I gotta say I look the most youthful of the bunch.

-Last weekend I was up for my brother's bachelor party, and what started with getting drenched and drunk from the rain delay at the Pirates game, soon turned to entering the Casino in Pittsburgh. If you ever want to see the biggest mix of hillbillies, yinzers, grandparents and club rats, this is the place. It was too much for my mind to handle.

-The highlight of the night was two part.

1) After going out Friday night till 2:30, I woke up at 7:00 am to drive from DC to Pittsburgh. Halfway through the party I figured it was a great idea to drink Redbull, followed by "strong" coffee, followed by Playboy Energy drink. I could hear my heart saying, "that's it, I'm giving up!!"

2) The reaction that Donnie Iris (DAHNEY R'IS in Pittsburghese) is overwhelming. I'm convinced that if he ran for Governor of PA, Pittsburghers alone would get him elected. You would have thought Jesus himself appeared with all the cheering, shrieking and women's clothes falling off that happened.

Unbelievable.

Just fake it

It's the new Nike slogan, "Just fake it!". Within the past 3 days I've been reminded why I've watched less and less basketball and soccer growing up. Both sports have become almost unwatchable, with Soccer lone saving grace being the goal celebrations. Let's get this moving...

I've given both the sport of soccer and soccer players credit in the past, for being some of the most skilled and well conditioned athletes on the other side of the pond. Having to only use your feet and head, while continuously running for 45 minutes, is impressive. The largest problem the sport is facing is the terrible, terrible acting these Euro-pansies employ. In every game I've watched so far, guys are taking dives. They'll act like their leg's been broken b/c of a slide tackle, all in the name of drawing a yellow card. Once said yellow card is given, they jump right back up and everything is alright. That's simply disgusting.

Sure in every sport people try to draw penalties, but their attempts are pathetic. Look no further than the Nigeria-Greece game. (http://g.sports.yahoo.com/soccer/world-cup/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Kaita-s-red-card-could-be-this-World-Cup-s-worst?urn=sow,249204)

Sani Kaita barely even touches the Greece player with a kick, he goes down immediately, and Kaita receives a red card. I'm just saying, you try and pull something like that in football or hockey? You can bet your life you'll be in for a beat down next time around.

The only way a yellow card should be handed out is for incidents like Zidane's headbutt, or if you literally tackle someone else. The whole concept of "tripping" someone by tapping their leg is absurd. I've seen better acting and actual hitting in wrestling, and we all know it's fake.

Act like a man, footballers, and maybe your sport will earn more respect here in the US.

Basketball is in the same category as soccer. If you watched the game back in the early 90's, and compared it to a game today? No comparison.

In today's game, players put more effort into trying to draw charging fouls and shooting fouls, than the do actually shooting. Everyone is included in this. In last night's Game 7, there were at least 4-5 instances of Kobe purposely trying to draw a foul rather than just posting up for a good shot. In the words of Charles Barkley, "That's just turrrible Kenny, straight turrible". This is why Jordan and older players will always be held in a higher regard than today's crop. They worked for their points. Jordan had to fight the Pistons, Knicks and Pacers, tooth and nail. Sometimes, actually "fighting", aka throwing punches and shoving.

Guys will try and take a charge instead of attempting to play actual defense. Another strategy you never saw in the 90's and earlier. They're already leaning back like Lil Jon says, before there's even contact. How can guys making millions of dollars do this? Some even "rep" where they're from, trying to say they grew up in the streets or ghetto. Man, I know for a fact that shit doesn't fly in a game of streetball. Hey I understand, you're trying to do whatever it takes to win, but have some pride in your game, and man up.

Last night's Game 7 was unwatchable because of those reasons, as well as the pathetic shooting percentages. You're telling me these guys are pros, yet they shoot between 30-40% from the floor? Supposedly two of the top 50 players in the league, Kobe Bryant and Ray Allen, went a combined 9-for-38. 23%!!! Neither team played well enough to win, but the Celtics played poor enough to lose it.

Now we get to hear all about how "great" Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant are. I just have one question?

When does the NFL season start?

I don't think you're ready for this....

Rolling Stone magazine, in 2004 unveiled its greatest(read: worst) list of the Top 100 artists of all-time. These lists are always great because of the debate they cause, and ultimately attract more attention to their magazine.

I've had numerous discussions/arguments with friends in regards to the Greatest Guitarists/Albums/etc. However, this one takes the cake.

This Top 100 list includes all genres, which already makes it a bit burdensome and difficult to judge. I could more concisely argue for Rock, Country, or even Rap. However, this list includes Blues, Motown, and other genres I'm not completely familiar with.

If I were to throw out the name Michael Jackson (all jokes aside), where would you rank him? Top 5? Top 10? I mean the man dominated the charts for over 15 years. Any album he released topped the charts.

Now how about Little Richard or Velvet Underground? Either you're scratching your head or thinking, "I dunno maybe Top 50?". Remember, we're talking of all-time here.

What if I told you MJ was ranked #35, while Little Richard and Velvet Underground were ranked at #'s 7 & 19, respectively.

Yes, you read that right. Somehow they believe both of those artists are not only better, but infinitely better. Others in front of MJ, the King of Pop, are the Who, Neil Young, Nirvana, the Beach Boys, and Bob Dylan.

Nirvana, was a good band. Revolutionary? Not quite. They were neither the founders of grunge, nor were they the best band from that era. Sonic Youth, Pixies, the Melvins, and even Soundgarden were out before Nirvana. The greatest "grunge" band? I'd put Pearl Jam atop that list, perhaps followed by Soundgarden, THEN Nirvana. Nirvana is always ranked so highly on these lists, and I've never understood why. Case in point, Dave Grohl (their drummer) has had an even more successful career switching instruments (guitar) and leading his own group (Foo Fighters).

The Beach Boys? I mean they had hits, lots of them. Were they catchy? Hell yeah, as they're still played today during the summer season. Was the music that intricate? Absolutely not. I mean hell, if they make the Top 15, where's N*Sync? Basically the modern equivalent of the Beach Boys.

Bob Dylan? I've never understood what makes this guy so great, other than being able to play two instruments at once? He mumbles worse that I do, and his biggest hit, "Like a Rolling Stone", might make a top 100 song of all-time list.

As we scroll further done the list, John Lennon makes it at #38. You're thinking, "yeah he was an amazing songwriter for the Beatles". I definitely agree, but the Beatles are #1 on this list. So you're telling me John Lennon was sooooo good, he can make the list twice, over Run DMC or Elton John? Hmmmmm.

We all know to take Rolling Stone polls with a grain of salt, but this is the best example of how far off they can actually get in these rankings. Hey, at least Eminem made the list at #82. Now THAT's an all-time great.

Question of the Day: (Read the Column too!)

So with the World Cup starting tomorrow, I pose this question:

During the Olympics, rooting for any country not named the United States was seen as anti-American. Is it ok to cheer for another country during the World Cup? Such as the country where your grandparents or great-grandparents are from?


-Yes (Explain)

-No (Explain)

Final(s) Thoughts

With the Blackhawks successfully defeating evil personified in the Philadelphia Flyers last night, and bringing the Cup to Chicago. I thought I'd give my final take on the season that was.

-Great to see NBC cover Game 6. It gave the sport a big-time feel. You had two of the largest TV markets tuning in, and it couldn't have ended on a better night. Sandwiched between two NBA Finals games, and the World Cup. Hockey had it's own night to shine and did it ever.

-Even though everyone wants to see a pivotal Game 7, having Game 6 go into overtime is all you could have asked for. It was an extremely competitive game, with breaks for both teams. There was nothing to complain about in terms of biased referees or non-calls, and the GWG (game-winning goal) was controversy free. Perfecto!

-I said it here earlier in the year, that the Hawks were the Penguins of the West. They proved it last night by having a "younger" team, take it to the experienced Flyers. The Blackhawks, Kings and Canucks are the future of the West, while Pittsburgh and Washington will get over this past season hiccups to dominate the East for several years. Watch out for Boston and Tampa Bay(yes I said it), as they keep adding younger talent, as an under-the-radar pick.

-I don't care what anyone says, hockey is catching on big-time. If you watched any of the Playoffs, each game felt like a big deal, and the fans were electric. I have to give Montreal, Philly, and Chicago their due, as they seem to have the most dedicated and rabid fan base.

-Speaking of Philly, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but you showed real class last night by cheering and allowing the Blackhawks to celebrate in peace. Nothing was thrown on the ice and the ceremony wasn't booed at all, which is phenomenal.

-I still get a kick out of Gary Bettman (NHL Commissioner) getting booed in every venue. The guy is socially awkward, he needs to hire a public speaker, perhaps Bruce Buffer, to give his speeches. I rank him 3rd in the Commissioner poll, only beating Bud Selig in terms of ineptitude.

-Jonathan Toews (pronounced Taves) did his best imitation of Sidney Crosby by winning both a Stanley Cup and Gold Medal in the same year. The guy is 22 yrs old!!! Comparatively speaking, Stephen Strasburg made his debut two nights ago and already is 21. Toews has 3 championships under his belt already. Dominating stuff.

-Patrick Kane (their true superstar) is bringing back the mullet. He needs to be traded to Pittsburgh to fit in with that hairstyle.

-For those that don't know: The handlers of the Stanley Cup (two guys with white gloves) travel everywhere the Cup goes. Everybody in the Blackhawks organization gets a day or two to do whatever they want with the Cup. If I were one of the players, I'd get them drunk and then run off with the Stanley Cup. Maybe you wanted to spend the night with the Cup and some random "Bar rat", would they come into your room and watch b/c they had to keep an eye on the Cup? I need to know this.

-F' You to ESPN once again. Their coverage of the Stanley Cup final consisted of about 5-10 minutes worth of SportsCenter. By comparison, for Strasburg's debut, they interviewed 4-5 different people. Do they not understand the only way to help the Sport grow is to provide coverage?? The Finals had two major markets competing against each other, and don't tell me no one cares about hockey. Go to every major TV market as ask about their NHL team, and you'll find a huge fanbase. Just think if you did this, you wouldn't have to show the Harlem Globetrotters or Spelling Bee on your main channel.

-Doc Emerick is one of the best Play-by-play announcers alive. He gives every play the feel of life or death. In addition, it sounds like he's getting robbed at gunpoint after a great save. Classic stuff.

-We get two days to recover before cheering for the second most underrated and under appreciated sport in America, the World Cup of Soccer. Time for more chants, shenanigans, hooligans, and beer!!

U-S-A, U-S-A!!

Virtual Insanity

I'd like to believe most people are very visual learners. It may sound insane, but I whole heartily trust that my driving skills are attributed to playing Need for Speed, Daytona USA, and Gran Turismo. Sorry, Mario Kart doesn't make the list, because as far as I can see, there are no magic boxes that'll allow me to speed up, fire weapons, or make traffic ahead of me minuscule.

In the same belief, recently I've learned that if the end of the world comes, and the dead rise to become zombies, the safest place will be in Apt. 242. I know Gigs and myself would be Zombie Killing M'Fers. After watching 28 days later, 28 weeks later, Resident Evil 2 & 3, and shooting an African country's worth in Resident Evil 5, I feel pretty confident I'll be able to mow down hundreds of the blood-suckers. Of course if it was an attractive woman, maybe I'd let her think about it, before I took off her head.

I pose this question: Would you hook up with (fill in your celebrity), if afterwards you became a Zombie?

While we're on the subject, here's what else I've learned from video games:

-I could never be a sniper. Instead of firing one shot, I pretty much go into Rambo mode and shoot as many bullets as possible.
-Even in the virtual world, I am frugal with spending. I could have $75k, and I'm thinking "eh I'll pass on the rocket launcher, there may be something better down the line".
-Apparently all great things in life are hiding in boxes/crates. Some you can break with your head, and others you'll need to find a special key.
-Mushrooms give you super powers, or at least you think so, after you've taken them.
-Grand Theft Auto should just be renamed: "Another day in Columbia Heights, DC"
-According to RockBand, I should probably take over as lead singer for Alice in Chains
-If I ever get shot, I'll just either sit in a corner to heal up or eat some plants.
-Never trust Russians. They are ALWAYS evil. Especially Russian women (personal experience aside).


http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/the-fratellis-chelsea-dagger/025947d318e1fa4a9a53025947d318e1fa4a9a53-63378358826

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

I drive East every other Friday....

Home. It's where the heart is, the old saying goes. For this blogger, I've called Pittsburgh home for 26 years of my life. Time in DC has flown by, already living here for a year and a half. As Gigs will tell you, I'm still clueless as to how to get around the city. I know my escape route to Virginia and other points East. Otherwise, unless it's Adams Morgan, DuPont, Georgetown or Chinatown, I have no idea where it is.

Back in Pittsburgh, I could find a back road or route to get you anywhere. I'm not sure if that exists in DC. Seems at every turn there is more and more traffic. Another thing I've noticed is that in DC, you don't meet many/any people actually from the area. I'm not exactly sure why, but it's a bit odd to me. Whenever I meet someone from Pittsburgh in DC (that I didn't know beforehand) it's like running into an old friend. You reminisce about the place and your favorite spots.

That's the funny thing about the Burgh. For all those years spent trying to escape, you eventually look back on it and smile. Exploring new cities may be great, but once you KNOW everything about a city, it's that much better.

I'll be heading up to the Steel City twice in the next month. The 250 mile drive Northwest on I-70 and I-76 is equal parts relaxing and boring. The scenery as you're driving up the mountains in PA, heading towards Breezewood is intoxicating. You get a view that looks down upon small towns and the countryside. During the Spring/Summer, it's a perfect example of how tranquil parts of the world can be.

Soon, you hit one of the most amazing places on Earth, Breezewood Pennsylvania. I kid you not. After driving how many hours, being stuck in traffic, and just wanting to get to your final destination, this place is a glimmer of hope. It has everything you want and need. From Sheetz to Dunkin Donuts to Starbucks to Wendy's, it's a fast food haven. If you feel like sitting, there's even a Bob Evans, where Flo will serve you up some of the best fried country cookin'.

After passing through Breezewood, it's a race on the PA Turnpike against Tractor trailers and other crazy drivers. When it's raining or snowing, you may even begin to doubt if you'll make it out alive. Of course, it's just a thought, and as it passes, so do the final 110 miles.

Finally, you jump off on the Monroeville exit, fly through the Squirrel Hill tunnels, and the city landscape is there to slap you in the face. At night, it's a stunning view of steel buildings and lights. To this day, I believe Yellowcard wrote the song "City of Lights" after Pittsburgh.

I finally make it home, and within the first floor of my house the last 20 years of memories rush over me, like a flashback in LOST. I see pictures of family and pets (both with us and deceased). I'd then make my way into the dining room, where the piano I used to play for 10 years sat.

But on this next trip back, the piano will no longer be there. It finally was sold, and it's been a mixed review. Home will look a bit different, just as it marginally does every other time I travel back. Just like the city, for so many years I tried to escape playing the piano, and now that it's gone, I want it back. Just one more time to play "November Rain". As I think about the drive next week, I can't seem to shake this song outta my head...

"So I'll drive
And I'll think about my life
And wonder why, I'll slowly die inside
Everytime I turn that car around, right at the PA line and i count the days and the miles back home to you on that Highway 76 ride"

-Zac Brown Band

New Sporting Rules

Here here, the Sports Czar is holding court and hereby passing these laws.

1) The NBA needs to push those photographers back about 20 feet. Why in the world do they need to be so close to the action? I'm pretty sure we've developed camera lenses that will zoom in. I'm sure the players love it when they're in a full out sprint and end up crashing into a sea of midgets and cameras. Ahhh feels great on the back! I don't blame Dennis Rodman for kicking these guys.

2) While we're on the subject. Just because you're a fan doesn't mean you can get away with anything. Case #1, the Artest Melee in Auburn Hills. If you throw your drink at any athlete, they should have free range to inflict whatever bodily harm they see fit. When else in society is it acceptable to do this? If someone did that to you at a party or on the street, wouldn't you re-act the same?

3) I understand golf is one of the few sports that had remained "traditional" and up until a few decades ago, only snobby old white men played it. However, Golf has become revolutionized since Tiger Woods started playing, and now other aspects need to be changed. Cheering/jeering. Why is it Golf is the only sport where they need absolute silence? Are the golfers that thin-skinned they can't handle hecklers? Every other sport has crowd noise, music, yo-momma remarks. Just accept it Golf and watch the sport captivate more young people. Just look at horse racing for an example. They allowed drinking in the middle of the tracks, and throngs of 20-somethings show up to their major races.

4) If your team has 10+ consecutive years of a below .500 record. They WILL be moved. No if/and/buts about it. There are plenty of other owners and cities looking for teams. Congratulations to the Las Vegas Pirates!!!

5) If a baseball batter steps out of the box more than 3 times in one at-bat, the pitcher gets to ding him with a fastball, free of charge. Hopefully this will stop the whole Nomar and A-Rod trend of constantly adjusting.

6) WNBA is now the professional mud-wrestling league. Of course we'd have to replace all the players now. Sexist you say? Does anyone even attend these games or watch them on TV? Might as well make a bit more interesting at least. Look at the bright side, I'm sure Budweiser will jump all over this as a sponsor.

7) New idea for UFC. Tag-Team fighting or escape from the cage matches.

8) NFL-NCAA Football. No more kickers. We're going old-school here. No more extra point attempts, only two point conversions. If you want to kick a field goal, one of your other players must attempt it. Someone who can actually stand to be tackled. For kickoffs, you throw it, just like in those famous Thanksgiving Bowl games.

9) Steroids are now allowed in any sport. I want to see what the human anatomy is full capable of. 650 foot home runs, tackles that take off some one's arm, 180 MPH slapshots, 135 mph fastball. Let's show the rest of the world what we're made of! GHB and HGH!!

10) Please take away the uniforms from baseball managers. I'm tired of seeing 60-70 year old men walking around in tights. Christ, if I wanted to see that I'd go back to watching WWF.

UPDATE:

1b) All professional athletes are on incentive based contracts. The contracts will have a stated minimum pay, say $1-5 million. Then, based upon your performance, compared to others in your position, you get paid on your ranking. This will eliminate all arguments of being underpaid or overpaid. The top 5-10 players at each position will be handsomely rewarded with $15-20 million/year. I'm tired of seeing guys holding out in training camp b/c of one good year. Let's see how motivated all players remain, it can only increase competition in the league. Of course this makes too much sense and will never happen due to Players Union (another unnecessary evil of sports).

Don't piss on my head and tell me it's raining....

Obama nation is slowly turning each day into a Jim Jones cult. With this BP Oil Crisis, it's becoming more and more prevalent. In the beginning, we were willing to give him a pass, because he had to "clean up" the mess GW Bush left us with. People would argue to me all the time, "anything is better than another Republican President".

So I ask, when do we stop drinking the Kool-Aid and realize what's going on? This isn't meant stir panic like Glenn Beck, it's an honest question. Do we realize how long this event has been going on? It started back on April 20th, and by the looks of it, it'll at least be June 20th, before anything has been resolved.

Two months of oil leaking out into the water, towards Louisiana and affecting not only the Ecosystem, but the Fishing industry as well. People flipped out when Bush did not respond to the Hurricane Katrina quickly enough. It was less than TWO WEEKS, before the Southeast area was flooded (pardon the pun) with supplies, volunteers and benefit concerts. From my view, Obama STILL has not done anything to quell this disaster. Again, some will argue this is not affecting people's lives, and thus does not require immediate response. It is and will affect lives, and two months later, you're still dragging your feet? Pick it up man!

The Unemployment rate is still sky high at 9.7. When he took over the office of President, the rate was 8.2, and it's high mark was at 10% in November-December. Most of the jobs he has introduced recently, have been temporary assignments. Argue you all you want about GWB, but while he was in office the high mark was 7.4 and that was the December before he left office.

Listen, I want Obama to succeed and become this President that unites the country. However, his decision making, authority, and responsiveness has been questionable for much of the first year and a half of his Presidency. Yet, people are still quiet and mum on any flaws he may have.

This isn't a race thing, but Obama needs to start focusing on actual issues. I give him praise for pushing through Health Care reform (even though it should have been passed back when Clinton introduced it). Otherwise, I'm seeing goose-eggs up on the scoreboard. Stop trying to be the friendly, funny, sports-enthusiast President, and focus on getting things done. Be that A-hole needed to put the fear of God in BP and Wall Street. No one wants to look back on your term and think, "he didn't get much done, but he was a nice guy". As we all know, nice guys finish last.

Memorial Day was dominated

Fresh off the 3 day weekend, which seemed like one non-stop day, here's some food for thought.


-Capital Skyline Hotel throws an amazing pool party. At 12:30 pm there was already music blaring, drinking/BBQ'ing, and scantily-clad people everywhere. If they only renovated the hotel, they could become the SW version of the "W" Hotel.

-Speaking of the scantily-clad, after discussing opinions of what bathing suits guys prefer on women, I quietly noted that the wrong crowd wears what I call the "Pregnancy" bikini. You seemingly notice women who are in-shape sporting it, but those who think a Gym, is a name of a guy, have no problem wearing Euro-style suits.

-I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to the dudes wearing the Banana boats. Unless this is a bodybuilding competition, there is no need to be wearing that in public...Just the thought makes me shudder. At this point I wish I was drunk!

-Attended a friend's BBQ on Sunday night and was having an amazing time, when I thought I was about to see a suicide attempt. This woman thought it was a great idea to storm off, jump the railing, put both hands on the ledge and.........sit down. This is about the only negative of ever hosting a Rooftop party. Next time leave the crazy at home!

-Walking from Chinatown to Columbia Heights isn't too bad (2.9 miles). However about halfway through the walk at 2:30 am, after about 8 police cars buzzed by, I thought "do I have a better chance of making it home alive or the Pirates having a winning season?". I felt better immediately afterwards.

-Celebrated a year anniversary of my amazing tan lines on Monday. No one can say I haven't tried to get rid of them. They've survived two beach trips and the recent 5 hour excursion at the pool. After they solve this BP Oil Crisis, perhaps the US Government should focus their attention on this...

-The Chicago Blackhawks (NHL) are up 2-0 in their series after Monday. The only sporting event that could beat this is watching Kevin Garnett scream "ANYTHING IS POSSIBBBBBBBBLAAAAAH"

-I take that back, Jan. 1, 2011, will crush it by comparison. Pens vs Caps at Heinz Field...Where do I sign up????

-Last year was Michael Jackson, this year Gary Coleman and Corey Haim. If I'm Maculy Culkin, I'm in full on panic mode right now. (NOTE: Put your money on him in the 2011 Celebrity Poll)

-DON'T ICE ME BRO!!! http://brosicingbros.com/

-Buy stock immediately this second in Smirnoff, Bacardi and Mike's Hard Lemonade.