Age of Innocence

In a recent conversation with a friend, we discussed the line where people go from being 20-somethings to adults. The conversation wasn't so much of a pleasant one, but more along the line of "what the hell happened to us?"

They never tell you at what age you officially become an adult. Sure, at age 16 you could get your driver's license and in most states, stay out till midnight. At age 18, you can buy cigarettes, go to Strip Clubs, and stay out past that curfew. At 21, you can drink legally, and drive home drunk (just kidding, I would never advocate this). Somewhere between the age of 13 to 40, you start to have sex, fall in love, and shed the skin of having "fake" friends, not necessarily in that order.

It seems somewhere in your 20's you officially make the realization that you can't be staying out till 3 am on weekends and having 10+ drinks a night (Aaron will contest this). Before you know it you're in a serious relationship and thinking about the future. Literally, this transformation from college-minded drunk, to "family-man" happens within a few months. It's scary...I know.

There is some switch that goes off. Seemingly for guys its a bit more natural, as opposed to women who can have theirs forcibly flicked to the "on" position, due to the maturation of all their friends. This refers to the phenomenon known in some circles as the "Lemmings" theory. This is a reference to an old-school video game, where the point was to get a giant gang of Lemmings to follow the actions of the one leader. Unfortunately, if he fell off the cliff, all the others followed.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, eventually breaks down any independent woman, and the switch happens. You see it all the time, one person gets into a relationship and 10 more follow. One breaks up, and the others question their relationships.

My question is, can that button ever be switched back? I personally equate this situation to skydiving. The idea always gets tossed around. Then one day you finally settle on actually doing it. Once you get up there, two things will happen. One, you crap the bed and want to head back to solid ground where things were "safe". This leads to the infamous, "I'm not where you are or I'm not ready for a serious commitment scenario". Also known as, it's not you it's me.

The other option is, two, you blindly leap out of the plane in an exhilarating fashion. This will either lead to the biggest rush in your lifetime (great success!) or you crashing into a million pieces (much like your heart).

I remember a year ago, having a group of 10-15 people going out every weekend, all of us having that switch in the "off" position. Here we are a year later, and out of those 10 people, I'd say 6 flicked it to the "on" position. I admittedly was one, but now am stuck either in "off" or "out of order". Looking back, the turnover rate is astonishing.

It's like Dane Cook once wisely said, ...."When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...(sigh) "I wasn't invited to this party." But then, once you're IN love, that's like being inside that party, going "Where's my jacket? I wanna get outta here. where's my jacket? I been to this party six years and I wanna see other parties! Where's my jacket. Someone shit on the coats. I think someone shit on, about, or around the coats."