Thank You Shawn

Everyone has that one dirty secret. Whether if it's you secretly rocking out to Bon Jovi, watching Sex & the City, or imagining you're a superhero. Everyone has a vice, and growing up, mine was professional wrestling. I do believe the majority of the people I know have at least watched it a few times, and whether they admit it or not, they were definitely entertained by it. I mean how couldn't you??

As a kid you believe they're actually fighting and you just wait for Hulk Hogan to "hulk up" (not a steroid reference) and hit the infamous legdrop. As you mature you learn it's all predetermined and scripted, but the action is still real. Simply put, it's a soap opera, where the stars actually beat the hell outta their bodies. It's got everything you need; weapons, double crossing, surprise attacks and scantily-clad women. No I did not just describe the plot for 60% of all movies.

Last night, one of the all-time great performers/athletes, Shawn Michaels retired in after a heartfelt speech. You're probably thinking how could it be heartfelt if it's all "fake". Imagine you had the ability to do something you loved for 20+ years, and one day woke up realizing you just can't do it anymore. You'd probably get emotional too, telling whomever you've lost that ability (not a ED reference).

As a kid and teenager, I hated the guy. Thought he was the epitome of every guy you'd deal with in High School and most fraternities at college. Arrogant, self-centered, and full of attitude. I was more in the pro-Bret Hart crowd, so you couldn't help but hate Shawn. You'd hope everyday someone would jump the railing and just pummel him into submission.

As I grew older, you learn to respect those who are great in their craft. Much like Derek Jeter, John Mayer, Alexander Ovechkin, and Tiger Woods. I cannot stand any of them for different reasons, but do I doubt their abilities? Absolutely not!, they are machine like in their approach to sports and music. You cannot deny their ability, skill, and charisma. In the same way, it changed my view of Shawn. He would put on entertaining skits, matches and interviews, week in and week out. Sacrificing his body and future, just for pure entertainment. There's something crazy enough about that, you gotta respect if you're a fan or not.

Wrestling is one of those games that the stunts are real. As much as you want to believe, it's impossible to fake all of the chair shots, diving off stages and ladders, and repeatedly getting slammed on a mat. I dare anyone to try it, and after a week, tell me how you feel. I was that kid crazy enough to give professional wrestling a shot. I will tell you, if you left without you're back feeling like it was going to crumble, you didn't try hard enough. It's intense what these grown men go through 300 nights a year. All other "sports" have offseasons to rest up, but this is the only one that doesn't.

It's unfortunately the reason why many of these same men are dead, paralyzed, or recovering-drug addicts before the age of 50. Watch the movie "Beyond the Mat" and it'll give you the grim reality of this lifestyle.

The difference here is Shawn made it through it all. He knew when to quit, and how to win people's respect. Only a truly great performer can make you hate his guts for years, and then when he goes to hang it up, clap in respect for what he meant.

It's like another part of my childhood has faded away, just as another birthday approaches. I wish I could find that hot-tub time machine and go back to when things were much more simple as a teenager. I wish wrestling still had that effect of me.

I got two words for ya! "Thank You", Shawn for the childhood memories.

Ain't that America!!

So as many of you know I traveled down to NC for work related reasons. I've been down here less than a day and already have a few observations. First, this morning I woke up to the sound of rain pounding on the window, sounding much like hail. I'm watching the news as I get ready, and they mention there is a tornado warning for this area effective till noon. I think to myself, "Should I really be driving to work and be staying in the place that has the structural integrity of a tin can, if there's even the slightest threat of a tornado?"

Luckily, no tornado, just very strong winds, which nearly threw the rental car off the road.

After work, I then proceed to the Wal-Mart of Jacksonville, which apparently doubles as a grocery store/club. I walk in and they were BLARING DMX, "Up in here". I looked around but no one was dancing, so I decided against it and walked the rest of the time.

Try and guess which two isles were the busiest in the store? If you guessed Beer and the hunting isle, you'd be correct! Followed shortly by the Produce isle.

All that keeps playing in my head is Toby Keith, "Courtesy of Red, White & Blue".

I've made the comment before I stand out easily down here. No it's not b/c I'm white, get that outta your head! It's because I'm not a Marine. Now I may already have the haircut and bold look, but I'm missing the huge frame and tattoos to boot.

This could easily be the most interesting week of my life.

Sorry Caps Fans

As many of you know, I'm a HUGE hockey fan and supporter. I was one of the few people happy that Canada won the Gold Medal, b/c it's actually great for the game. Hockey is Canada's sport, much akin to Football now being the United States'. For the past 15 years, they've been treated terribly by Czar Gary Bettman. He's taken teams from hotbeds such as Winnipeg and Quebec, then decided to place teams in Phoenix and TWO in Florida. I'll hold back any further comments about the man until another time.

My point being, I'm a fan of the league and almost all teams (sorry Flyers fans). I'd like to consider that my view is objective, however I've finally reached the tipping point with Caps fans.

I absolutely love how hockey is catching on down in the District. They are an exciting, young, high powered team. Ovechkin plays with the enthusiasm of a kid, but acts at times like the village idiot. Backstrom has been touted as the "best" center in the NHL, much to the chagrin of Pens and Canucks fans.

However, the line is drawn at how disrespectful Caps fans are becoming in regards to this season. Many fans have said this is "their" year or touted it as destiny to win the Stanley Cup. The Caps have made the playoffs twice in the past five years. They play in the WEAKEST division within the NHL, and yes I know they have beaten the Pens 3 times in the regular season. When you play 24 games outta 82 against teams with a .500 record, you can pretty much fall into the playoffs. They're on pace to win the President's Trophy, which is awarded to the team with the most points. Since 1990, 5 teams that won this award, have gone on to win the Stanley Cup. Not exactly the greatest odds. None of this adds up to it being their year.

Their goalie, Jose Theodore, has been playing out of his mind. This season he has been even better than when he was awarded the Hart Trophy (MVP) in 2002. One thing that would worry me is that he's never been able to carry a team past the 2nd round of the playoffs, and Caps fans do not want Varly in net.

Don't get me wrong, the Caps are on fire this season, thanks in large part to Theodore. As I've mentioned before they are similar to many of the Red Wings teams of the 90's and 2000's, as well as the infamous Pens team of 94-95.

The biggest difference is that all past Stanley Cup winners have had several significant veterans on their team. No one on the current roster jumps out to me in that way. Sergei Federov was that presence last year, this year it falls to Scott Walker, who does not have the experience winning a Cup.

Again, I will state that the Caps are an exciting team to watch and definitely a contender. However, in no way do I believe they have set themselves apart from the rest of the league in terms of being "destined" to win this year. Fans need to be careful on how they support the team, or else they are "destined" for the stomach punch of another failure.

This day in history

I know i know, it's a lame topic, but I have to get the creative process (using the word juices just seems wrong) flowing.

Today marks the birth date of one of the most influential artists of all-time. Sir Elton John. Now I know, also celebrating today are iconic figures such as: Sarah Jessica Parker, Danica Patrick, Cammi Granato, Tom Glavine, Juvenille, Lisa Turtle and Katherine McPhee. Ok, so scratch the last few as not really being iconic or influential. My editors warned me about another lengthy column, so I'm just choosing to focus on the one.

Elton holds the honor of not only having the best selling single of all-time (Candle in the Wind), but one of the very few artists to survive both drug addiction and an eating disorder, and THEN get signed by Disney. He's peerless in how he has managed to turn his career around from this addiction to becoming a huge proponent in the fight against AIDS, as well as being knighted in 1998.

The man is so widely admired in the music industry that when he announced he wanted to record a hip-hop/R&B album; Pharrell, Eminem, and Snoop among others immediate expressed interest. His performance with Eminem at the Grammys after accusations swirled of Eminem being homophobic, has to rank in the top 5 Grammy moments of all-time. Plus it's the best version of "Stan" you'll ever find. In addition, I'd highly recommend checking out his performance with Axl Rose on the Tribute to Queen!

Anytime you hear his songs at a bar, you just can't help but belt out the lyrics. How many times have you heard Bennie & the Jets, Your Song, Rocket Man and Saturday Night's alright for fighting.

I was able to interview via conference call both Axl Rose & Ozzy Osbourne, both who have cited Elton as a huge influence on their careers. I wish I could tell you what they said but between the shouting and groaning about Sharon, Chinese Democracy, and what sounded like Snuffalufugus, I quickly thanked them for their time and banged my head against the wall.

What will always stand out about Elton are the two iconic songs: Candle in the Wind and Tiny Dancer. Tiny Dancer practically made the movie "Almost Famous" and "Candle in the Wind" being a stunning tribute to Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana.

Many kids today will simply remember him as the guy who's written countless songs for Disney, which is a shame. I would urge all to see him in concert, especially on tour with Billy Joel. It's artistry at it's best and shows how a man has bounced back from the lowest of lows to becoming one of the top 5 most influential artists of all-time (according to Rolling Stone magazine).

"And you can tell everybody this is your song"

Knowing when to hang it up

Too many times in today's world do we see TV shows, actors, actresses, and athletes hanging on too long. It begins to spoil the good memories you had about them. In sports, the biggest example to me was Michael Jordan. After he came back from his gambling exile to baseball, he won 3 more championships and decided to hang it up. However, he couldn't stay away and came back to play with the Wizards. It was sad to watch because not only were the Wizards terrible, but MJ went from the game's most dominating player to the second best player on this team. Like watching Sylvester Stallone in Rocky Balboa, it makes you cringe and ask why??

I'm beginning to get that feeling with Lost, much as I did with Michael Jordan. Now I'm the type of TV viewer who watches things mostly for entertainment. I do not analyze shows down to their core and find hidden meanings. It's ironic b/c that's what I do professionally in my career. To me, Lost simply seems to be milking their viewers for one last season, just to generate a bit more revenue. I began watching it back in 2004, at the infamous Dawson St. house in Pittsburgh with Gigs. It's now reached the point where I've invested too much of my time, thought, and emotion into the show to give up now. I believe it should have ended after the 4th season with a little better writing, and more episodes (due to the writer's strike). The plot was "fairly" believable up to that point, and it seemed the survivors escaped the island and all is well. Soon after Season 4, we were exposed to time travel; forward, backward, and sideways (now Cha-cha real slow), a disappearing island, hydrogen bombs blowing up, and now a battle for the "devil" to escape the island. It's almost as if they brought on new writers to go in a simply new direction. All the while, pretending like nothing has changed. Much like when the Fresh Prince replaced Aunt Vivian with a woman who looked NOTHING like the other and simply chose not to address it. This all adds up to being too much for many viewers.

Since the end of Season 3, Lost has "lost" over 4 million viewers. For most shows this would mean the end of syndication, however when you start with 15 million viewers, you can afford such casualties.

It's great we're finally getting the background stories for many important characters, but it's still a very slow build towards the Season finale. These revelations I can only think should have been accomplished long ago. Here's to hoping Lost ends it permanently after this season and does not produce any more spin-offs (such as Flash Forward).

(Editor's note): Here's a question for the fans. If we are to believe there has been this constant struggle between Jacob and MIB, why did either of them let the survivors leave the island in the first place? It seems everyone is either brought to the island to replace Jacob or "be sent to hell". During Season 4, some apparently found a loophole and were like "see ya, I'm heading home!"

No it don't break even

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yZ1uI5yPbY

Do you ever hear a song on the radio and think to yourself, "WTF, this song is made for me!" It is both ironic and entertaining when this happens. The song "Breakeven" by The Script is that song for me. Of course as soon as I made it into work I went and googled the lyrics. My second thought of the day then hit me, "why can't I ever think of lyrics like this." The famous singer/songwriters always say they write songs based upon what's going on in their life. "Breakeven" practically would have wrote itself if I took a minute to think about it. I'd be interested to hear others' thoughts on songs they've heard and thought the same.

Big Ben is the new Tiger

So I was going to try and limit myself to one or two postings per day, but this was too easy to pass up. Recently, Ben Roethlisberger was accused of sexual assault by a 20-year old woman in Georgia. This wouldn't "normally" be a lead story, except for the fact that this is the second time he's been accused of such an offense. Soon thereafter, details were revealed that the arresting officers were hanging with Ben in the club, as evidenced by several photos. Normally, we are quick to dismiss such allegations by women against athletes, since many turn out to be invalid due to the fact the same women are in it for the cash. However, this may be the newest case that turns it back in their favor. There has been approximately 164 charges of sexual assault against athletes. What frightens me the most, is the facts keep lining up in favor of Ben being guilty of the accused offense. You would think after one scare, the guy would shape up and avoid clubs, especially out of town.

What's even more worry some, is if you type if Ben Roethlisberger and drunk, your search will return over 17,900 google images. I understand the guy is in his 20's and just wants to do what normal 20 yr old males do. However, when you are the quarterback of a storied franchise, two-time Super Bowl winner, and making millions, you don't get to live by those same rules. The guy needs to shape up. In a way I hope even if he is found to be not guilty, the Steelers or league suspends him for actions detrimental to the team. He needs to re-focus and prioritize what is most important in his life. Hey, if you wanna act like a college kid again, I'm sure you can handle making $15K and drinking Iron City!

Pitt vs the House of Reps

I understand everyone that went to the Univ. of Pittsburgh is heartbroken after last night's defeat at the hands of Xavier. There are so many what-ifs you could ask about the game. One has to understand that Pitt wasn't even supposed to contend this year. Our best player (Gilbert Brown) was suspended half the year. This was the "re-building" year and for a team that finished third in the Big East and made it to the 2nd round of tourney. If not for a foul here or 3-pointer there, we're talking about a Sweet 16 team made up of mostly Sophomores and Freshmen. As the old Mortal Kombat game used to say "Impressive!".

The Pens have a very important week coming up, playing against both the Red Wings and Caps. People are already counting out the Wings this year. It's funny b/c they pretty much have the same team that's made the Stanley Cup Finals the past two seasons. If I was a team in the West, I would not want to face a healthy Red Wings club in the #1 vs #8 match up, especially with the "us against the world" mentality they'll be playing with.

If you haven't seen Crazy Heart yet....well just wait for it on DVD. It's a fantastic movie with Jeff Bridges reprising a role similar to "the Dude". The music and soundtrack is simply phenomenal. However, I just can't buy Colin Farrel as a country music star. I mean really?? You couldn't think of anyone else who'd be more believable in the "I was once the student and now I am the master" role.

Coffee is probably the second greatest beverage in the world, right after water. If/when I have kids, I'm gonna get them started on drinking this at age 8. Not sure how I survived 25 years without it, but thanks to Aaron, I'm a full-fledged coffaholic. Hell, imagine if they were drinking this stuff back in the Roman and Egyptian days. Can you imagine how many more pyramids or Coliseums we would have??

Finally, if you ever want to see some real comedy, tune into CSPAN for any House of Reps discussions over legislation. Last night was the "huge" Healthcare bill. In this week's episode we had some guy who looked like Ron Burgandy presiding over the "discussion" Sunday evening. All the while, we got to enjoy 45 second debates concerning people the Representatives knew who would "live or die" b/c of this bill. It honestly reminded me of high school debate class, with all the booing and cheering after each discussion. These discussions then ended each time with people saying what appeared to be "holla back". I say they just determine the outcome via WWF Royal Rumble rules. You put all the Reps into the squared circle and whoever the last one standing is, gets to decide whether it flies or dies.

Fantastic voyage

First off let me explain the title of this blog. I'm originally from Pittsburgh and lived there for 26 years. However, I'm not from the area that has created their own dialect known as "Pittsburghese". I figured I would pay homage to my birthplace by utilizing one of the most commonly heard phrases by kids in the area. If you ever heard your parents shout this phrase, you knew there was a belt, shoe, pan, or other inanimate object coming your way!

Anyways, enough with the memories...I want to thank all those who are following this blog, and let me welcome you to the fantastic voyage haha. I write in the style of Bill Simmons (ESPN's Sports Guy), who I'd highly recommend checking out.

Class is in session so let's begin...