Reverse Discrimination - The NFL way

Let's get one thing straight and understood right out of the gate. I am all for equality in the workplace. I believe people should be hired on how well the can crunch numbers, not on the numbers of crunches they can do.

Now, do I believe every office would benefit from at least one "attractive" female co-worker? You're damn straight. Even if her sole job was to boost employee morale by asking how your weekend went or smiling at you when you walked into the office, that's easily worth $20,000-30,000.

You figure it's professional environment, what's the worst that could happen?

Well why don't you ask Sean Salisbury, Steve Phillips, or Harold Reynolds at ESPN?

All were let go for some type of harassment or alleged affair with co-workers and interns.

I'm not here to condemn them at all. I'm here to elaborate on something everyone already knows, but seems to get passed over in the court of common sense.

Men find women attractive, and the ones they find attractive, more times than not they will pursue.

It's not rocket science, hell it's about as elementary as 1+1=2.

You see "harassment" accusations all the time in politics and corporate settings. It's a known fact that one of the most controversial Presidents of the United States was caught up in a similar case.

It's a natural reaction of men, most times we can control it, but hey sometimes we just gotta let it out (No Brett, I'm not talking about that, pull up your pants).

The NFL should really know better than to even put the temptation out there. For the most part, their interns, assistants, and marketing personnel are young 20-30 somethings just trying to get their foot in the door.

Are you really going to put these type of women around men whose testosterone levels are RED on the Homeland Security Reading Rainbow chart?

These players either just finished working out for a few hours or competed in a sport in which the goal is pure animalistic instinct, tackling whoever has the football.

Out of the top 3 things that get men riled up, I'd be safe to say working out and competing in sports are #'s two and three. Guess what numbers one is?

So after they finish either of these activities, and see an attractive woman coming their way, guess what crosses their mind?

I can't blame or condemn them. NFL Players are made from a different cloth. The human beings are bred and raised for the sole purpose of high impact competition. They aren't physicists or doctors, they're taught to rely on instincts 95% of the time. In addition, they have been shown they're judged on a different level than everyone else (which I don't agree with). What makes you believe they don't think they should be catered to and get away with everything and anything?

These recent stories with Ines Sainz and Jenn Sterger just point out a bigger problem.

The NFL needs to hire less attractive women. I mean really, do you believe former playboy playmates can be taken seriously as a game day host? You don't think every guy in that locker room is going to make a pass at her? Or how about Miss Sainz. When you show up to a Super Bowl event asking Tom Brady to marry you, and years later accuse players of making inappropriate comments, I'm sorry you pretty much asked for that. Your professional integrity went out the window when you showed up in a wedding dress that Super Bowl weekend, and in skin tight jeans to interview players.

Listen, I'm not saying attractive women CAN'T do this job, b/c just at ESPN alone there are a 5-6 women, who have legitimate knowledge of sports and are fantastic commentators or analysts.

I'm saying maybe teams shouldn't allow the players to have direct access to these women.

You always hear people complain "oh I wonder how she got this job", just because another person is probably better looking than they are. Sometimes, those accusations hold true, other times, one can truly have both beauty and brains.

So let's go a step further and use reverse discrimination to hire those dubbed "unattractive". As Chris Rock once said, "I'm not saying it's right, but I understand".

At least then the players would be more faithful to their wives and we wouldn't be forced to see what's below those Wrangler jeans.

I'm on to you LeBron!

Can you believe it's October 1st??

I mean it snuck up on you better than that ghost in Paranormal Activity. It's been a busy week and it only looks to get better as we swing into one of the best months, sports-wise.

LeBron James. No one name in sports is more polarizing than his. He's loved by some, yet hated by millions. I have to admit I was going to write a scathing review of his most recent comments. LeBron recently said he thinks race played a factor in how the public has perceived his defection to the Miami Heat. Since the beginning, I've openly admitted I had NO problem with him going to the Miami Heat. We get to see a team you'd try to assemble on NBA Live or 3/10ths of a Dream Team. My problem was the way he went about announcing his decision. I openly believe 75% of the media and public shared this view. It was nothing short of an open slap in the face to all his fans and the entire city of Cleveland.

However, I think I'm starting to catch on to LeBron's game. He's performing the old "heel-turn" perfected by one Hulk Hogan. For years LeBron was the most beloved Superstar in the NBA. He was always the 2nd or 3rd best player in the league. He was able to sell millions of jerseys, gain a ridiculous following, and even promote a new saying, "I'm a witness". He single-handily took on the monumental task of turning around the fortunes of one terrible sports town (Cleveland). Now don't get me wrong, Cleveland fans are both loyal and volatile. What I mean by that sentence is that they've been tortured for pretty much their entire existence, with the exception of the Jim Brown Era.

Look at what history LeBron has had to battle against. The Browns losing the "Fumble Game" against the Broncos in 1988 AFC Championship game. It has it's own Wikipedia page dedicated to it. Go ahead, start typing "the fumble" and see what comes up. Then in the 90's, their team gets stolen. The Browns are repackaged as the Baltimore Ravens, and win a Super Bowl a few years later. DAMN!.

In baseball, the Indians last enjoyed a World Series championship in 1948. They made it back to the World Series in 1997, had TWO OUTS in the bottom of the 9TH of Game 7, and STILL managed to lose. Did I mention it was to a team whose inaugural season was 1993? GUT-PUNCH!

How much worse can it get???

Finally, in basketball, the Cavs first get their hearts ripped out by the ruthless Jordan in both 1989 and 1991, on his way to his first championship. Then in 2006-07 they make it to the NBA Finals led by LeBron, only to have Tim Duncan and company, laugh in their faces, and sweep the series 4 games to none.

LeBron started looking across the way at Kobe, who admittedly was the most hated player in the NBA (except by those in LA). However, Kobe also had 5 championships. LeBron knew his time was limited and he needed to start winning titles ASAP in order to cement his legacy as one of the top 10 players of all-time.

This is where my theory comes in to play. He knew if he just announced he was going to Miami, everyone would still love him, but he'd risk falling into Dwayne Wade's shadow as the 3rd most popular player. LeBron began planning his attack carefully. He knew being the nice guy or "babyface" would only get him so far. I'm convinced he knew he was going to Miami months before his ill-fated "The Decision 2010". He looked at Jordan, Kobe, and Isiah and thought, "I gotta get that mean-streak, I need to turn a few shades darker". That night, he decided to turn "heel" on the entire league and its' fanbase.

On National TV he basically told Cleveland, "FU, I'm taking my talent elsewhere where it won't be squandered". Within an hour time, he went from most beloved player to most hated, even passing Kobe along the way. Anytime you can get millions of fans to go from jeering to cheering Kobe, that's a helluva feat.

However, he didn't want it to stop there. He wanted to show the world he wasn't messing around. In an interview he called out the critics by saying, "don't think I'm not taking note of what's been said". That didn't quite have the effect he wanted in having more people turn on him. Therefore, recently he went with the old stand-by.

The Race Card.

You know every time it's brought up in Professional Sports, it gets people talking. Usually a lot of disdain is shown towards the person who is using that card. In this case, his claims are so outrageous, people can't help but naturally hate him.

After the interview on CNN, he just sat back and let the controversy boil over, like a master chef preparing a stew. Going into this season he knows he's public enemy #1, not only in the NBA, but in all of professional sports. It was A-Rod, but people have started to warm to him through indifference.

I know LeBron isn't dumb enough to believe race was actually a factor. I do believe he is smart enough to know that controversy creates cash, and will only help his legend grow. That is if he silences all the critics by winning the title this year or next. Everyone is rooting for him fail, and nothing provides a greater motivation that proving them wrong, not even winning one for your hometown team.

In this day and age, being anti-establishment and the cocky heel is cool. LeBron is a marketing genius and understands this. That's why he's decided to switch personas. He no longer wants to be Batman, but rather the Joker, because the Joker always gets the last laugh.

We can't have nice things

As many of you know, I try to stay pretty active, especially this past summer. I currently play dek-hockey, softball, and flag football to round out the week.

What can I say, if it's competitive, sign me up!

However, I usually run into one slight problem. Most of these co-ed or corporate leagues are not as competitive as I'd like. I'm not trying to prove anything here, it's simply a fact. Whether it be a debate, a sprint to the end of the parking lot, or a game of football, I WANT TO WIN. But you already know this.

That's why I think I'd make a great rapper or at least lyricist. I'm sure I could write 52 bars that just rip someone to shreds.

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen anytime in the near future. Yet, I still apply the same attack when smack talking.

Here's an example. Last night we were in the midst of a close football game. It was the 2nd half, and my team was clinging on to a 7 point lead. Their QB ends up sprinting up the sideline trying to gain a first down. I KNOW I forced him out prior to the marker. The Referee unfortunately marks it as a first down, and I calmly jaw back you can see his footprints out of bounds prior to the first down.

Suddenly, I hear a voice screaming back my way. "THOSE WERE ALREADY THERE, QUIT COMPLAINING JUST B/C YOU DIDN'T CATCH HIM". Just when I start to turn around it continues, "I WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE AND SAW IT, YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR EYES".

When I finally turn around to see who is yapping all this trash, it's a female player on the opposing team.

Here's where the conflict began. You see, I was brought up to be a gentleman, and with it, respecting the opposite sex.

BUT, in my mind, once you step on a field of play, all that goes out the window. I had to fight back the urge to say, "HEY, WHY DONCHA SHUT UR MOUTH AND GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH IN THE KITCHEN WHERE YOU BELONG".

Luckily, the thought ran through my mind quicker than it got to my lips, and once it did, I just kept laughing at how outrageous the situation could have become.

Yeah, maybe it would have been fun to escalate things, but seeing as there were 3 females on my team, who we needed, it was better to pass this battle up.

Next time I'll just stop and think WWED or What would Eminem do.

I am whatever you say I am

"Can anybody hear me?
I guess I keep talkin to myself
It feels like I'm going insane
Am I the one who's crazy?"

- Eminem "Talkin 2 myself"


While I was relaxing outside on Saturday listening to my MP3 player, this recently added song came through my rotation. It was so good I had to listen to it twice, because the lyrics just hit so close to home. Eminem's whole recent CD (Recovery) has that affect.

I'm sure most of you have heard both "Love the way you lie" and "Not Afraid". Respectively, both are great songs but the lesser known ones stand out more.

Shortly after this song came through, "Way I am" was next. The lyrics are gritty and angry, but also very real. These two songs are what got me thinking...

Why?

Why do I have such a sarcastic sense of humor? Sure, sometimes it can be hilarious, ala the way Seinfeld or Lewis Black is, but other times not so much.

Why do I say things to friends none the less, that can be construed as rude or profane.

Why does it appear I'm always angry. I can't tell you the amount of times I've heard from people saying they passed me in the street or at the gym and I just looked p'd off.

The answer? I guess that's just the way that I am.

I'm 100% sure if you're reading this you're either a family member or friend. I'm sure we've interacted at several points in life.

I'm here to say I'm sorry. I don't want to come off as someone who is rude, non-caring, or a sarcastic asshole. That's not my goal in life. My goal is to entertain and have a great time. To be honest I think that's why "acquaintances" may be apprehensive about ever hanging out.

My bad man.

It's just a bit of a self-realization I've gone through. I just wanna say thanks to all of you out there who are friends and that I value those friendships.

So don't be afraid, because I can't be that bad of a guy, or else why would you be reading this?

Danger on the highway

You've seen it all the time on VH-1, E!, or A&E, shows detailing terrible inventions, ideas and creations. However, for the 21st Century, I'm here to present to you an invention so bad, the government should be banning these.

The GPS, otherwise known as the Global Positioning System.

Now before you start thinking, "here he goes again ranting and raving", hear me out. You may not realize it, but this device is causing the increase in road rage, crashes, and motor-vehicle fatalities.

The government would have you believe it's the talking on a handset for your cell-phone. I think we've mastered the use of the two motor-skills, talking and driving at the same time. It's no different than walking and talking on a phone. You're using one sensory skill (sight) to drive and another (hearing/speech) to talk on the phone. Sure, they're both utilizing the brain, but it's what we simpletons would like to call "multi-tasking".

The true error is the crowd that tries to text or utilize these Death Maps (Garmin I'm looking your way).

It becomes even more dangerous when people both listen to the voice and look at the screen on the GPS. Drivers will look at the screen, look aimlessly outside for signs and then look back at the screen. Did you notice where they aren't paying attention? ON THE ROAD. It's impossible to split your sight into two, unless of course you're a chameleon. Trying to utilize the same brain function for two items = burning car crash.

Today I drew the line on the way to work. I can only estimate how many times I've seen people swerve suddenly into the right lane because they realize they're missing their exit. I'd estimate this number to be near 100 in the past month. No joke.

The issue isn't the device itself, but people relying so heavily on this voice to tell them when to turn and not realizing 100 yards come pretty damn quickly when you're traveling 50 mph. If they simply switched it to voice only, most problems would be solved.

Much like cell-phones have allowed people to google information from anywhere in the world, the GPS has accomplished the same for directions. Just because something has the ability, doesn't mean you should use it's full ability.

The GPS is supposed to be an aid not a guide. People used to be able to plan their trips ahead of time, look at maps and write down directions. At this point you had a general idea where to go and only occasionally had to read off this paper. Nowadays, people think, "I'll just use my GPS and take a back way!". In small-town Kansas this may work. But when you drive in a city in which traffic is rated third worst in the nation, you need to know where you're going beforehand!! I've seen cars apparently out for a leisurely drive during rush hour.

You can easily identify who is using their GPS as a crutch, because they're the idiots doing about 35-40 on I-495, in the left lane. Why? Well because the pleasant British Lady inside their turn-by-turn direction guide is telling her the exit is coming up soon. Or they're the people who are riding two lanes when the split is the road is about to come up.

The Government regulated seat belts for safety because of crashes. Then they regulated texting and talking on the phone. Hell, they've regulated food in school cafeterias because we can't tell Timmy no to his 3rd serving of Mexican Pizza.

Well what ever happened to Geography? The general population must learn how to read and interpret maps. Doesn't it make you wonder when people can't even identify which coast the Atlantic Ocean is on. Or how about, if I was traveling from PA to California, which direction would I be heading? The people who rely on GPS are the same buffoons who cannot correctly answer these questions. Yet I'm led to believe they are mature enough to operate a 4,000 pound piece of equipment??

PLEASE MAKE U-TURN AT FIRST OPPORTUNITY. DO NOT PASS GO.

I won't even mention how the most common reason for car break-ins is to steal these same devices. Because really, if those with an IQ below 50 and a car already own one, why can't the poor, destitute common thief have one as well??

Have I made my point yet or are you thinking,

LOST SATELLITE RECEPTION, PLEASE RE-CONNECT.

The day I became (in)-famous

I was flipping through the channels the other day, while trying to avoid watching a San Diego vs Kansas City Monday Night football game. Low and behold I come across the USA Channel with WWE(f) Raw on it. Who is standing in the middle of the ring with his championship title, none other than the Mike Mizanin aka the Miz with Chad Ochocinco. You see, the Miz started out as a contestant on Real World/Road Rules challenges. Most of these people ultimately just become bar attractions for the next few years and die off into the realm of infamy. The Miz wasn't going to let MTV or Pitt that night, be his final send-off.

Apparently a lot can happen in 5 years, such as becoming the United States Heavyweight Champion in an international wrestling promotion.

Let's go back to 2004, at the University of Pittsburgh. I was still a young, naive kid at the age of 22. Somehow I was "elected" IFC President that year, and due to this title, I decided to compete in the Greek God/Goddess event. It was held at Club Laga, a dark, dingy concert venue, where most up and coming bands played. The judges for that year were Chevy Troutman, the Miz, and Tori Morris.

My turn came and I approached the stage. What happened in the next three minutes culminated with me cutting a promo on the Miz, saying how he was basically a nobody, who lived off his MTV fame, was dating a girl Paris Hilton was embarrassed by, and that he'd never make it to the WWF. The Miz was furious!! My next thoughts were, "oh shit I may have to fight this guy". Soon thereafter, followed by, "wait, there are at least 10 of my drunk brothers in the crowd, he'd be stupid for trying it".

The skit ended with a brother of mine, Chris Kenny, slamming a steel chair into my head and the audience cheering either b/c they weren't sure what they had just experienced or more than half I'm sure were hammered by then. Somehow that got me second place, to this day I wonder how in the hell that happened.

I'll tell you what did happen. It provided motivation for a man to become a superstar, and pursue his dreams. Unfortunately, that man was not me.

After the whole scenario was over I proceeded share a few drinks and shots with the Miz at Peter's Pub (local bar). All the while, he commented on how entertaining that was, how he would make it big, and how he was going home with at least two women. That last part was pretty much guaranteed with Tri-Sigs and DZ sisters throwing themselves at him. The first two I laughed off as lies, little did I know I'd be eating crow years later.

I gotta give the guy credit. Somehow he parlayed being a MTV "reality show" contestant into a shot with the WWE. From there worked his ass off for 5 years and became an entertaining and respectable wrestler. Go ahead and roll your eyes about being "respectable" in a fake sport, but it's honestly no different that acting. I'm just saying that a guy with no background in the sport, knows how to entertain and soon enough will be the face of the WWE. I'll just be waiting for that shout out Miz, because you and I both know you'd be nothing without the MIHLF!

And that's the bottom line.....because the Mihlfman said so!

The best you can hope for

So after an impressive outing by both the Steelers and Falcons defense on Sunday, the Black & Gold squeaked out a victory in overtime. Rashard Mendenhall's 50-yd run capped the game and more importantly gave the Steelers one victory without the Overrated One (Big Ben).

Momentum is a very crucial aspect of sports and particular football. The Steelers built up a bunch of it last night, taking down one of the early favorites to win the NFC (the Falcons). It gave Dennis Dixon his first win in the NFL and some confidence, as his final line was (18-26, 236 Yards, 1 INT). Not too bad for a rookie and especially for someone whose only expectation was to manage the game. The Steelers next 3 games are against the Titans, Buccaneers, and Ravens. Two out of the three (Titans and Ravens), will be very difficult games. Going into the first four games (length of Ben's suspension), no one was expecting them to win more than 2. The real question is what if?

If the Steelers lose the next three, that's a a tough uphill battle they have the rest of the season. After the suspension they still have to battle against the likes of the Patriots, Ravens (again), Dolphins, Raiders (don't laugh b/c they have a tough D), Saints, Jets, and the Bengals twice. Ben would probably be blamed if they miss the playoffs after such a start, since it truly is his fault for putting the team in that position. Every Steelers fan (Ben included) is hoping and would be satisfied by a 2-2 start. It would still give the team a great chance at the playoffs especially if their other win comes against Baltimore. This would guarantee all the teams in the division of having at least 1 loss after the first four weeks. At that point, everything is up for grabs.

Here's where it gets interesting. Say the Steel Curtain lives up to it's name. Say Dennis Dixon lights it up in one of the next 3 games, passes for 2+ TD's or over 300 yards. What if they start out 4-0? You may laugh but it's easily possible. The defense is that good and who knows if Dixon is the second coming of Kordell Stewart, who many forget led the team to the AFC Championship game one year.

What then?

99% of you will argue Ben is the franchise QB and should start no matter what the record says. The 1% of us who have a clue will say, not so fast. The Steelers would have a ton of momentum after a 4-0 start with a young QB, especially after beating 3 playoff caliber teams. Dixon would be battle tested and ready for anything the rest of the season may throw him. I'd say keep riding the young QB until he shows signs of falling apart. It's happened before, even in the Steelers history. Tommy Maddox anyone? The guy was supposed to be just a "filler" QB. Kordell Stewart after being in the AFC Championship game the year before was replaced three games into the next season by Maddox and never saw the job again.

Sure Ben has two rings with the Steelers, but the team clearly sees something in Dixon. Otherwise, why would they have drafted him and also started him ahead of Charlie Batch? Batch should have easily been the replacement QB for these first four games. He's safe, reliable, and no one would have expected him to start after Ben returned. Now with Dixon, who is a young, athletic QB, they may be starting a bit of controversy. It's almost the perfect storm if he does start 4-0. The local fans are getting fed up with Ben's off-the-field performance and the only thing that matters to these fans are wins. If Dixon collects 4 of them in his first four games, expect plenty of love from the Black & Gold faithful and one important question.

Ben who??